Just wanted to do a quick post. It felt like something I should do.


Things are very...normal, I guess. The days have turned from non-stressed, happy weekends to the weekdays of hell. This is the way it goes, I suppose. Although, it wouldn't hurt if there was some variety.

I'm healing a bit better than I was. Sure, some days all the bad feelings that I don't want come back, but I surpress them and then they disappear. I keep questioning whether this is healthy or not.

And yet, I'm still connected to him; I still care what he thinks of me. He tells me that my makeup looks emo, or infers it, and it makes me feel like I shouldn't wear it anymore. But I like it, so I should do what I like, right? But I still really care what he thinks of me. It's sickening.


Urges are being surpressed everyday again. I came close this morning before school. But I'm better than that...I don't want to stoop to that level again.


And of course, I'm up to my neck in school work and projects. And when weekends are my days to be happy, stress-free, and all-around just have fun and forget about everything, it makes it hard to fit in when to work. I'm going to have to kick it into high-gear for the next few weeks.


And here's a secret....we have a project for English where we have to do a presentation on an influencial person. I really want to be Princess Diana, partially because she was a great influence, and partially because I think I can relate to her. She dealt with self-injury, after all.

So yeah. Just an update.